3/14/11 Katie's Healthy Eating Journal: Monday

Have you ever seen the show, Big Love?  I was watching an episode that I had rented from Netflix (love Netflix!) and one of the wives (lol, no I'm not an advocate of polygamy but it's one of those guilty pleasures just like all those trashy Real Housewives shows that I watch as well!) was discussing how many "roles" a wife is in her life.  She was getting a lot of heat in the show for addressing real concerns about women being ovewhelmed in their different roles and that many end up resorting to the medicine cabinet to help manage their stress, highs/lows, and just overwhelming sense of frustration at the balancing act.  I now can sympathize with these women.  I think I've mentioned this in previous blogs too, the guilt I have is constant.  I feel guilty for not spending enough time in the different roles that define me as me (ie. being a mom, a wife, a teacher, a responsible pet owner, a daughter, a good friend, etc.).  I ALWAYS feel like I'm not spending enough time with my child and I'm jealous of my mom and my husband's mom that they get to be with him all day during the week.  I feel like I need to rush home from school everyday just to get in a few quality bonding hours before my son falls asleep.  Due to these feelings of guilt, I then feel guilty for not spending tons of hours after school like all of my colleagues.  There's no time for dinner after school, chatting it up with my team members, rallying for teachers' rights (the collective bargaining bill being passed), or much collaboration because I am missing my son so badly.  If you're not a pet lover you will not sympathize with me but my dogs are used to ruling the roost.  Since I'm constantly holding and playing with my son I can tell it's affected my dogs.  They are not getting out as much and they're not getting enough love time like they did in the past.  If I talk to my son I try to make sure to talk to my dogs equally as well (crazy, I know; like I said, if you don't love your pets like crazy you probably don't understand this one).  Then there's my role as wife.  I've been cozyin' up with my son all night so there wasn't a whole lot of time to snuggle with my husband.  He and I just always seem so busy with chores, jobs, etc.  Time is just getting away from me and I'm having trouble balancing everything when I'm so anal and constantly trying to be a perfectionist.  How can I let these horrible feelings go?

MONDAY

Breakfast -

JC Sunshine Sandwich

Banana

1 cup fat-free organic milk

Snack -

JC Peanut Butter Anytime Bar

Lunch -

JC Pesto Pizza

Carrots

Snack -

Orange

Dinner -

JC Chicken Fajitas

Broccoli with 1 tbsp. margarine

Snack -

JC Triple Chocolate Cheesecake